Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
