Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
