dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
