So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
