Don't you send me to vm
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
