I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
