that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
