Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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