i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
