So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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