People with herpes should wear stickers.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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