He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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