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At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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