$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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