If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
North Korea, Best Korea!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my sisters under your porch take her home
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
