Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
