The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
