I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
