OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
