Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
