Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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