And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There r osticjed everywhere
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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