Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
