I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
