I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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