its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
