it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
