BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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