god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
