people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
