Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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