...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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