I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Boobs speak an international language.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize