Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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