The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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