Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
