Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So. Much. Porn.
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