Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
