broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
