just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
