I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
