you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
