Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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