I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
