is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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