she woke up with a sticky ear
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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