Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize