I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
