I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There's even glitter on my cock...
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