just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
