that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
