Can i not drive my cunt home
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
