I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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