R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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