So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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