I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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