party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So many bounce houses so little time
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
