i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize