did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
me + whiskey = a bad person
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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