it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
no, he came in my armpit
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
