i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize