Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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