Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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