She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
