wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
